The Wonderlic Test is Really Accurate.

The New Orleans Saints had a great season last year, and the Houston Texans appear to be a team finally headed in the right direction. Still, you have to think it can't be easy to watch Vince Young play for the Titans. Yes, the man proven beyond a shadow of a doubt to be mentally handicapped has shockingly ended up being a competent quarterback. I'm not sure who could have anticipated that he'd rise above his disability. After all, this is the first time in his career he's proven doubters wrong and become a success.

In all seriousness, watching VY shred defenses and improve with every game makes the media's assessment of players appear even more haphazard than usual. This is a guy who has succeeded on every level; he's shown leadership, determination, and an absolutely terrifying sense of internal calm under pressure. On Monday night in New Orleans, he made some early mistakes. But, he played under control, and by the the time the 4th quarter rolled around, the game belonged to him. The defining play of the game had to be a 3rd and short. The defense blitzed and he bounced outside, stepping across the 1st down marker, and then back again to avoid a hit. A Saints corner, obviously frustrated, grabbed onto his jersey and rode him out of bounds. Vince returned the courtesy by smacking him in the mouth and staring him down on the way back to the huddle.

By contrast, His Exalted Holiness St. Reggie Bush is struggling. His success in the NFL was all but guaranteed by everybody with a microphone or a keyboard. But, his free form playing style seems to be holding him back, and the bruising back that allowed him his success last season is now gone for the year. His former teammate, LenDale White, described by pundits pre-draft as "fat" and "risky" was clearly enjoying playing alongside Vince Young, and strangely seems to run well despite that fact that he doesn't dance around to avoid tackles. Which is weird: I mean, the guy never scored a touchdown at USC, right? That's the Titans: the team that has no right to succeed but seems to do so anyway. Who would've thought that a national champion QB, a proven bruiser of a running back, and a coach who's been to the Super Bowl could do well. They're like that disabled kid who shot all those three pointers. What was he, artistic or something?

Ryan $heckler is Getting Rich.

Almost ten years ago, I started to hear about skateboarding's next child prodigy. His name was Ryan Sheckler, and at age 8 he was already turning heads. He quickly started collecting sponsors, winning contests, and getting coverage. Despite this early success, there was a lot of cause to worry about his future. It can be difficult for people who succeed at a young age in a lot of different arenas, and skateboarding is no exception. Plenty of people have started strong, then burned out. So, as I watched Ryan's star rise, there were question marks. Could he handle the pressure? Was this really what he wanted? When he became professional at age 13, it made me wonder again: was he headed for a spectacular collapse?

Well, the good news is he's not a drug addict or a has been. The bad news is that he's about as greedy as you can possibly get. It's not enough for him to have many lucrative contracts, a shoe with his name on it, his face on video games, and to travel around the world skateboarding. No, he and the brains behind his 'brand' decided that it wasn't enough, and they've gotten him his own MTV show. Yes, we the lucky viewing public now get to watch Ryan do things like plan for Winter Formal, whine and moan about his family, show off his wicked back tattoo, and search for that elusive girl who's interested in a 17 year old with too much money and a pro skateboarding career.

If it's not obvious, I find this to be extremely aggravating. Skateboarding has been associated with its fair share of lame things over the years, and a reality show is a huge step backwards. I'm not faulting Ryan for being an annoying teenager, because god only knows, I was one of those too. I'm not complaining about his tanned jock meathead approach to a part of my life that has symbolized the exact opposite to, well, tanned jock meatheads. Not everyone is going to see it the way I do, and he's got just as much right to pick up a skateboard as everyone else. I'm not even faulting him for wanting to make money while he has an opportunity. A career can be capricious, and he or anyone else is wise to try to strike while the iron's hot. What bothers me is the best thing he could think to do is make skateboarding into a second-tier Laguna Beach.

People have done lame things in the name of turning a profit off of skateboarding before. Tony Hawk did a loop for McDonalds, sold Bagel Bites, and pretended like Tom Green was cool. But even then, nobody could claim that he took more than he put in. Tony stuck with skateboarding and helped it grow through the lean years. He ate Taco Bell and did van tours for tiny crowds. He put together a team of unknowns that are now some of the top pros in the culture. Yes, I will always feel ambivalent that he chose to give some legitimacy to ESPN's interpretation of skateboarding. But, ultimately, he put in the work. He was involved when there was no money to be made and stuck with it. Ryan has never known a fallow period. Skateboarding has made him a millionaire before he's 18 years old, and all he can think to do is find another way to milk it dry. What a little creep.

Charlie Weis Might Get Fired.

In a wonderfully entertaining turn of events, Notre Dame is horrible. I mean, granted, I was convinced they were horrible for a while now, but they've taken it to another level. For the first time in their 119 year history, the Irish are 0 and 4. It was wildly speculated that there'd be some rebuilding after Brady Quinn and, um, those other guys left, but nobody, even me, dared to dream this big. They stink. This week, they scored two offensive touchdowns, and that was cause for celebration: even though they lost by 17.

Rumblings about big ol' Charlie losing his job have already begun. This, a couple years after South Bend tripped over themselves to give him a ten year extension. I'm giddy. It infuriated me to no end to see Ty Willingham shown the door the way he was. Then, it drove me up the wall hearing the calls for Brady's sainthood when he'd yet to win a meaningful game. I'd get a lot of satisfaction watching them get walloped in every bowl game they play. But now, it's a question whether they'll even make it to a bowl game. And, it feels so good.

I don't dislike Notre Dame on principle. I'd be fine with them if they belonged to an actual conference, didn't pad out their schedule with cupcake opponents, and didn't expect a bowl game slot on principle. A couple more seasons like this one, and maybe that will happen. Maybe.

Can't Please Everybody.

Add me to the chorus of people who have found the latter part of these playoffs almost completely unwatchable. It started with so much promise. The Nuggets opened strong against the Spurs. and the Warriors showed no fear against the Mavericks. The Rockets even jumped out to an early lead. But San Antonio put the wheels down, like they do, and took Denver out of their game from then on. Then, the Rockets predictably went retarded, and the Warriors wild ride came to an end. And then, there was the horribly tragic bloodbath between the Spurs and the Suns. Things didn't get better. The Pistons lost to Cleveland in spite of themselves. They have better balance and more experience. But, they were foolish and played down to the competition. Now, Detroit's laziness and San Antonio's soul crushing brutality have given us this mess of a Finals. One of the most ugly and unbalanced series we could ask for.

It's not a slap to San Antonio or Cleveland. This is the flaw of having to play the games. You could end up with an exciting story and something truly memorable. But because of the structure, there are no guarantees. San Antonio wins games because they know exactly what they do and do it consistently. That, and Tim Duncan is a machine. Hard to watch, but one of the best basketball players of all time. LeBron might be there one day too. But I think it's a sad state of affairs that this was the best that could come out of the Eastern Conference. Again, not LeBron's fault. And, good for all the fans that are getting a thrill out of this. But, when you look at the numbers, you're in the minority. This has been an iffy year. The NBA is loaded with talent, but David Stern seems to have lost his golden touch. Maybe it's just that he's so used to being bulletproof that it's hard to keep his head straight. But, wow, this has been a middling season. We get a fresh injeaction of some world class talent in a matter of weeks, so it's not anything that can't be overcome. It just sucks to love basketball but have no reason to be watching it this week.

I Really Dislike Flip Saunders.

When the Pistons were steamrolling through the Eastern Conference at the beginning of this year, I got sucked in. The fact is, I like a lot of players who run for Detroit. Rasheed, for sheer entertainment value, is off the charts. Chauncey is clutch and has an infectious swagger. Rip Hamilton plays harder than anyone in the league. Tayshaun can do it all. This is NBA canon. The Pistons have the best combination of starters in the league. But when my friend asked me in March what weaknesses the Detroit had, my answer was automatic: "Flip Saunders is their coach."

It's frustrating being a Minnesota Timberwolves fan. And sure, we just had a terrible, awful waste of a season. We're pissing away good seasons from one of the best combo forwards in the history of the game. Our GM is such a laughingstock that Forbes was exposed as inept by declaring him the best. I get so angry when I think about my favorite team that I'm tempted to punch a baby. But, it feels great knowing Flip isn't steering the ship anymore.





This is not meant to be a painful ode to my misery as a Timberwolves devotee. There are plenty of franchises that have suffered. Forgive me for being spiteful, but I'm glad that someone else is suffering Flip's shtick. He's tempting! He'll string a lot of wins together. He'll manage big egos surprisingly well. He can recognize talent. But when you really need him to keep it together, he goes retarded. The 2004 trip to the Conference Finals was one of the more torturous experiences of my life. That series was completely in Minnesota's grasp, but Flip whittled it down to nothing. We could have been the giant killers who offed the Lakers, but he just couldn't pull the trigger.

So when I watch the Pistons waste time being distracted by Chicago when the sweep was theirs, I'm not surprised. That's what Flip is about. The interesting subplot is Chris Webber, um, uh, being Chris Webber: blowing opportunities to play well in meaningful situations. That's kind of a rant within itself, but, wow, is he ever going to deliver when it counts? How fitting that he'd be led by Flip. Prove me wrong, Pistons. Prove me wrong.

The Beard Owns You

Well, if you hadn't seen what Baron Davis did to Andrei Kirilenko yet, now you know . It's difficult for me to adequately capture it in words, really. I mean, what do you do when you see someone get publicly humiliated like that? If you're like me, you watch the tape repeatedly. The best part is knowing that AK is no slouch defensively. This isn't a Shawn Bradley situation: he has notoriety as a shot blocker. You wouldn't know it if you saw the nastiness that took place last night. Al Harrington and Adonal Foyle's facial expressions summed it up.

The pressure is still on the Warriors. The Jazz are an incredibly resilient and well coached team that seems willing to play whatever style they need to win. But, Golden State is too good to go quietly. And as many players who have given their all for this playoff run, nobody deserves more credit than Baron Davis. He simply has no fear. Every time up the court looks like it might be his last, and he refuses to take a play off. the unfortunate thing is he's had it in him for a long time. A few years ago he was one of my favorite players and I watched a lot of Hornets games waiting for him to get his due. That never really happened: he couldn't stay healthy and organizational chaos made it difficult for him to achieve.

But now, things are clicking. He has a group of young teammates he feeds off of, and a home crowd and a coach that believe in him. Long gone are the days of whispers that he has personality issues, which in retrospect, considering that they were based off contact with the charming George Karl, probably should have been taken with a grain of salt. Now he's careening up and down the court like he's been shot out of a gun, taking and making shots that defy logic. I want more Warriors wins. Sure, for the great story, the fun to watch teamwork, and the epic home crowds. But mostly, for more Baron Davis.

Mark Cuban is Depressed

When I was a little kid, the Dallas Mavericks stank. While the Cowboys enjoyed their golden years, the Mavs struggled to string together any wins. This was reality. They seemed perpetually inept and frustrated, and even draft day boons like Jason Kidd could not change the culture of the team. I remember a radio station promotion where a local DJ promised to live at the station until the Mavericks won a game. He was there for a couple weeks at least.

Things are obviously different now. Dallas had its best season in franchise history on the heels of a finals appearance. Mavs fans have adopted the swagger and confidence that they saved for the Cowboys in years past. This year's playoffs was supposed to be the one in which all old ghosts were exorcised. The roster depth was there, and many believed that Avery Johnson was the one that could finally carry them over the hump. But now, as they've exited in the first round against a huge underdog, that dream is deferred for at least another year.

In the interest of full disclosure, I have never been a Mavs fan. My loyalty is with Minnesota, and Dallas's dramatic reversal of fortune was never enough to change that. I can't stand Mark Cuban's ego-driven antics. I've come to believe that as much as he does to support his team, he does much more to undermine them. And, I've never bought the idea that Dirk Nowitzki is a franchise player. Despite his incredible skill as a scorer, Dirk's defense, intensity, and leadership have always been lacking. Nowhere was that more apparent than last night in Oakland. When it came down to it, Dirk's team needed him, and he disappeared.

But, it'd be a mistake to think of this just as a series that the Mavericks lost. The Golden State Warriors won, and earned it. They survived repeated spurts of terrible officiating that kept their best players out of the game. They fought through injuries. They played a shallow rotation with a small forward at center and showed no fear whatsoever. The Warriors simply refused to lose. They took shots that defied all logic and made them. They played with such intensity and drive that you couldn't help but be pulled in. Golden State played like the higher seed. They believed in themselves and now they've won what will probably end up being the most memorable series in the playoffs, if not the decade. I feel lucky to have gone along for the ride.