Wednesday, January 27, 2010

The Situation Needs Better Management

In a moment of negotiations genius, Jersey Shore's the Situation and Pauly D are apparently holding out for more money. MTV offered a deal worth a total of $125,000: $10,000 per episode, plus a $5,000 signing bonus. These walking stereotypes have decided that they deserve a higher pay grade. I watched the whole season. To their credit, they were the most entertaining guys in the cast; carried some weaker episodes and made for good TV. But, I can't think of a worse idea than what they're doing.

It's hard to make money nowadays. The cost of producing a show continues to rise. More and more actors with a lot of film credits on their resume have their own shows. They don't come cheap. Meanwhile, the internet continues to change the number of entertainment options, along with digital TV. The audience is diversified in a way that the older networks didn't have to deal with. A massive hit show now makes up for a tiny percentage of the US population. Profit margins are razor thin. One of the few cheap and effective options is the reality show.

Need to buy script? No you don't! Just get some attractive idiots, buy them some drinks, and press record. What about their paychecks? Most likely, you won't have to: this is probably their only way to be famous. Don't talented people want to be paid? What a silly question! They're not talented. They're young, fit, and have bad judgment. They can't think three hours in the future let alone ten years. Their definition of success is some kind of bizarre morbid 21st century joke. And there a million people waiting for the opportunity.

Situation, smile and take your $125k. Put most of it away, get a stockbroker, buy some property. Think for the long term. Making salary demands is similar to someone wearing a sheet over their head claiming they can't be replaced. You can be replaced. This is a fact. There are plenty of tanned morons who will step into your shoes, and probably for free. Your best case scenario is that ten years from now, someone pays you to hand out drinks and bus tables at a theme party. For the sake of your GTL budget, listen to reason.

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